Cross Cultural Psyc: Experiencing a Culturally Different Ecology: Rainbow

There is a first time for everything

 

I did not know what kind of feelings I had when I was preparing to visit the lesbian bar.  I was thinking of it as an assignment that I had to do, but did not really want to do.  I was probably a little bit excited because I had never been to a gay bar before.  After walking around for an hour, Leah and I finally found the bar.  When I got to the building and walked up the stairs, I was complaining about how the bar was so hard to find.  The door of the bar was a heavy iron door which people cannot look through as though the bar was a secretive place.  I walked in and saw a bar that was half the size of our psychology classroom, and four people in the bar and I thought to myself “this place is tiny and crap, there is no one here.  This is going to be awkward.”  Sure enough, it was an awkward feeling.  The awkward feeling might have come from the fact that neither Leah nor I know what the appropriate behavior was, we did not know what we should do.  Leah and I sat alone near the window, when all the other people sat around the bar table.  I had this uneasy feeling rising within me, not because I was afraid of being hit on.  I actually thought it would be really cool if I get hit on by a lesbian.  The uneasy feeling came from uncertainties.  I was not sure if I should pretend to be a lesbian or not and how to start a conversation with them.  I did not know what they will think of me if I was heterosexual and what would happen if I lied to them by saying I was a homosexual.  The owner then invited us to sit with the other people and we started chatting with them like we would when we make new friends.  It was the exact feeling I had when I talk to random strangers, except for the guilty feeling I had since I felt that I was “lying” to them.  I felt that I was lying because I was there for a class assignment and I talked to them because I had a class assignment.

These happened in the bar

We talked about how men sometimes never get the message we were sending.  We bashed those nasty men who attempted to sexually abuse us together.  We shared our unpleasant encounters with men and got excited when we all had been in the same situation before.  All a sudden, we bonded through these talks of similar experiences that we had.  There was a girl my age who was interested in me and that made me more confident.  I got more comfortable as we talked and I felt that they were excited to meet someone from a foreign country.  Later on, the owner asked me if I am a lesbian.  I knew that question was coming, but I did not have the answer.  I did not know whether I should lie or not, so I smiled.  I thought she felt I was a bit weird that I smiled.  She asked me why I smiled and I answered her “well, I don’t know how Koreans view lesbians.  It seems like it’s a taboo here”.  This opened up another discussion about different views on homosexuality from different countries, so it turned out to be fine that I smiled.  

Study them

After my interaction with them, I do not think there is much study which needs to be done about homosexuals.  They are just like any other human beings.  In fact, I find them easier to talk to. They are nice, they are friendly, and they are more welcoming and more open-minded than some heterosexuals are.  I think especially because we were all girls, it made it even easier to bond with them.  I find it hard to comprehend why some people think they have mental problems.  I believe if any study is to be done, I would need to develop an understanding of the mind of the people who think homosexuals have “problems”.  I have friends who do not have any homosexual friend at all and have never interacted with a homosexual person, but think that homosexuals have “problems”.  I consider those who think homosexuals have “problems” the ones with real problems.  

Theories

The people who think homosexuals have “problems” probably fit into Hofstede’s Cultural Dimensions- Uncertainty Avoidance.  They feel threatened by the homosexual community because they do not know the community, they developed the belief that “homosexuals have problems” to avoid them.  They are also “separationists” in the Models of Acculturation (Berry, 1990, 1997) who rejects the other culture’s values and beliefs.  Although the model is used for immigrants, I think it can be used here since homosexuality and heterosexuality are two different cultures.  I think I am a “marginalist”, although I do not identify with the homosexual act, but I share similar beliefs with them.  I believe that they should have the same rights heterosexuals enjoy.