they're not

it's all my fault. i shouldn't be so vulnerable, shouldn't expose myself, shouldn't trust others so easily. they're friends, not family. the person you thought is your best friend can betray you. the person who knows she's supposed to keep everything you tell her a secret, tells the world what you said. we're humans. we all care about what is the most beneficial to us.

i worked so hard for iv
because i believed in a lie for 2 years
and it took me 2 years to figure out
that i dont belong there

iv has hurt me enough
i deserve to be in a community
where people care for me
because i do the same for them
i deserve to be in a community
where i'm valued

there were times when i wanted to leave
but god said you're not going anywhere
you're staying, and i stayed
i worked my butt off through the frustrations i had
the bitterness i had
the anger i had
because i cared

i cared enough to fast and pray for the first time
i cared enough to go talk to people even though
there was a chance that they might end up hating me

but it's different this time
what you guys did hurt so much
i dont even know how to describe it
pain of being betrayed
it's the first time that i got hurt like that
and it will be the last

im not jesus
im not god
i dont have unconditional love